Live a carefree life through mindful living
BY JANANI RAVIKUMAR
We all live in a difficult world, that is fraught with multiple responsibilities and challenges. The modern-day life demands multitasking almost on a daily basis, and these small stressors that are part of our daily existence, wreak havoc on us, leaving us feeling tired, drained and depleted. Some of us even break down under the stress or lose all interest in life. We are simply alive, but there is no joy in living. Is this how you feel, or have you ever felt this way?
When life becomes too much of a burden and we feel overwhelmed by the multitude of challenges or troubles that we face, sometimes we ask ourselves, – ‘Is there any way I can get back my happiness? Can I ever be carefree and joyful, like how I used to be as a child?’
Yes, it is possible. We are not born to suffer and everyone of us have the right and ability to lead a happy life, notwithstanding our individual circumstances or life situations.
‘But how?’, you may ask. Through mindful living.
Let us take a normal everyday example that all of us have faced at some point of time in our lives. Imagine that you are having tea with your family member, co-worker or friend, and suddenly he or she says something hurtful, intentionally or not, and that immediately stings you from the inside. What would be your next reaction? How would you handle this situation and the person who has hurt you?
Perhaps you would you give it back to the person by using the same hurtful language or behaviour, or you would silently bite your lips and swallow your hurt inside, where it goes down and deposits in your repository of unresolved feelings or emotions, only to come up time and again to haunt you forever, isn’t it?
Most of us come up with these typical responses, which are both different forms of violence, that is neither good for us nor the other person concerned. But from where does our response or reaction to this situation come from? From our inside – the different thoughts, memories and painful feelings that spring up as an immediate reaction to that hurtful remark.
However, is there a better way to respond to the situation? One that is more matured, holistic and good for all concerned? Yes, it is possible through mindful living.
Let us say, you are now mindful of what is going on within you. You are intensely aware of your own thoughts, feelings and body sensations and your surroundings, as it is. Without any judgement, analysis nor any harsh criticism of yourself or the person. You are simply aware of what is going on within you and outside you. Go on, keep observing and feeling deeply within yourself.
How does it feel? Terrible and painful; you are experiencing intense discomfort within yourself. You feel like running away from yourself and the situation, because you are not able to take in the pain anymore. Relax… It is indeed painful, but this pain is very much a part of you, so you cannot afford to ignore it. Agreed, it is painful, but it is not going to kill you. Rather than resist it, why not accept it unconditionally as a part of yourself?
Imagine you have a small pet puppy that is badly injured or wounded. What would you do? Perhaps, you would keep the frightened little pup on your lap, fondle it and soothe it for some time to calm it down before you bandage its wound, isn’t it?
Well, that is what we are going to do now. Within you is a frightened little puppy, that is hurt and injured now. We shall first heal ourselves before responding to the outside situation. So, hold back a little, and comfort yourself, the little wounded puppy within you with your kind and loving awareness. Simply notice your pain, accept it completely and observe how you are feeling inside with intense love and kindness, much like a mother’s warm touch. Do this for some time now…
What do you feel now? Perhaps you are still feeling miserable, but in a small corner somewhere within, you are feeling quieter and calmer. Something magical is happening to you. As you continue doing this for some more time, you can slowly feel your pain dissipating, and that deep space of peace and calm inside you growing steadily. Continue this practice for some more time, and you would find that your pain has almost completely disappeared, only to be replaced by a deep silence, peace and serenity within you. The time that this takes for different people may be different, perhaps a few minutes, hours or even days, depending on the intensity and depth of your pain or discomfort, but it would almost always surely happen. The key to this inner healing process is your unconditional acceptance and surrender, patience and willingness to give it the time it needs to heal.
You have just gone one step further in the human consciousness. You have healed yourself, through your own love and unconditional acceptance of yourself. You have just discovered a beautiful inner dimension within, which you never before knew existed. This deep space of peace, joy and love that you found just now is your own true Self. This is who you really are, and the more you go within that space, the more you realize that this is the only real thing that matters, and nothing else.
Over a period of time, as you become more familiar with this space, you become more intuitive, and the silent inner voice within you becomes more pronounced and clear. If you listen to it keenly, you can hear it teaching you the wisdom you need to handle the outside challenges and issues of your life.
So now, we come back to the situation at hand as we are now ready to respond to it. Go within yourself, listen to your inner voice deeply from that space of calm and peace within you, and then take an action or make a decision. This may be a stern action or a kind one, whatever it is, let it come from this beautiful space of peace and joy inside you, and not from not from your volatile thoughts or feelings. Most often, this would be the best response in the circumstances, holistic, wise and good for all concerned.
This is the space we must strive to be in always, and as we make this a life-long habit, we become loyal servants to this sacred space within, and seek out this inner peace, joy and love, no matter what we are doing or where we are at all times.
As you do this day after day, in every moment, you start living mindfully. You slowly let go of your rigid ideas, opinions, prejudices and gross perceptions about yourself and the world. And with this, comes a tremendous inner freedom, as you are no longer a slave to the vagaries of this ever-changing world and its never-ending share of challenges and problems. You perform your duties, but you are not much affected by the consequences or outside situations. You grow enormous inner strength and rise above the inevitable adversities of life. Deep down, you realise that all these are transitory and fleeting and hence need not to be taken too seriously. And you also know it is all okay in the end.
What is Real is the deep inner peace and happiness that we experience within ourselves, that calms and soothes us like a mother from our inside. This wonderful silence space embraces us and makes us feel loved and cherished despite all our shortcomings. The more we connect with this powerful dimension, the happier and joyful we become. However, this joy and happiness has no conditions attached to it. There is no reason to be happy; we are simply happy because we experience the tremendous joy of our own being, the joy of just being alive.
Soon, outside situations and people fade in significance, as we revel in our own inner joy. Yes, we continue to be with them and fulfil our responsibilities towards them, but we do not rely on the outside world anymore for our happiness. Every one of us has the right to this true happiness, notwithstanding our multiple challenges or life circumstances. This is the Real, and this is all that really matters.
This is when we start to live a carefree life, a truly beautiful one, wherein we perform our duties and fulfil our responsibilities from a state of ease and comfort, and not from our inner pain or as a burden. We are now like a lotus leaf; we are still in the world, but are not submerged in it.